I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
