i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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