Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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