i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
