i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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