My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize