My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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