I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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