it wasn't lemon gatorade
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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