Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
