I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
