none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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