You really coming over, don't trick.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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