Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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