What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
