You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
