what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize