how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
