I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
