i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
