There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
