kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
