Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
