OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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