Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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