Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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