she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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