I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
