Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
