do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
