I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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