He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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