I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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