we're blogging at a bar
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
