I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
