the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
