So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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