Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
