There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
