I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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