he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
