whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
