its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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