its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
