Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
