how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
