I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
