Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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