I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
