So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
