she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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