I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
