Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
