I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
