just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize