I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
