sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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