Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
