wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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