There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
