Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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